Preface: He’s fine now.
Big Daddy has terrible seasonal allergies. Like, “WOW did that really just come out of your face, How can you even breathe with all all that up there” type allergies.
They’ve gotten worse every year we’ve lived here until mid pandemic he had had enough and decided to try desensitization shots. On the day of testing an entire side of his back was one giant, continuous oozing welt. It was disgusting. So he’s been doing the shots for maybe a year? Nary a problem. Some occasional pear-sized lumps on the day of injection but other than that, smooth sailing.
Until today.
They bumped him up to red which I’m pretty sure is the last level. He got the shots, sat in the office for the required 30 min, and drove home. Right about the time he got home, he started to feel TERRIBLE so he hopped in the shower. Didn’t help. Oh also, I wasn’t even home. 🤦♀️ He’s just steadily getting worse and actively NOT telling me. 🙄 picture of texts with proof I’m not a terrible spouse for not realizing he’s in full on anaphylaxis and also that I eat salad. And fries.
I walk in the door with lunch, pet the dog, wonder where my husband is, ignore the fact that he’s not coming for his steak sammy, and then he comes down the stairs in my robe and I tell you what, he looked awful. And not just because he was wearing a red robe. Red is NOT his color.
It’s even more not his color when that’s his actual color. Which it was. He was lobster colored from head to toe. Speaking of toes, those were swollen. So we’re his eyelids and his EARS. You know that movie with Will Smith where he eats the seafood and blows up and you’re sitting in your seat thinking that has to be a gross exaggeration for laughs?
It’s not. It’s a little over done but not as much as you’d think.
Big Daddy’s EARS were even swollen. His chest was so swollen it looked like his rib cage and clavicle were broken because everything was so out of proportion.
Oh. Also? He was coughing and leaking snot everywhere. His airway was obviously on the struggle bus. And that was WITH Benadryl, Claritin, and albuterol on board already.
One look and I put lunch in the fridge and him in the car and we went back to the office (which is across the street from the hospital) because there were about zero of the ways I was letting him die today.
He walks in the office and a PA was walking past reception at that moment. I tried to check him in and she was like, “Hello. No. With me NOW.” She didn’t even ask who he was before she injected him with Epi and attached the monitors. I’ve never experienced anything like it except for the time we walked into a children’s hospital with a half-drowned baby.
Glory. Epi is amazing. He went from boiled lobster to ghost-colored in about two minutes and after some oral meds and a neb his lungs didn’t sound like a bad connection anymore.
And now he’s the proud owner of not one but TWO epinephrine auto injectors. Good times.
I’m really glad he didn’t die.
Here’s his eyeballs after treatment. We can all be thankful together that I didn’t have the time to take any before. And also that we didn’t get pulled over on the way in because there was definitely a reboot of Lead Foot Mama. Look at my pasty boy. That’s also a weird color on him but it beats Chucky Victim Red.
If this never happens again I’d be ok. With that.
Also, he way undersold it when he texted his boss to let him know he wasn’t going to be back to work today. He was just like, “ps, bad reaction to allergy shots.” Boss said “gosh that stinks. Hope you can make it back in today.”
DUDE. SAY ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK.
Nope.
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